Are You Okay? Please Leave.
NICU 3
There’s a tiny baby in there
Day 2 - 3
Gestation 23 weeks
An ultrasound on his heart confirmed that the murmur is an open PDA valve. It is a fetal heart structure that essentially redirects blood and closes itself shortly after birth. Often prem babies need a little help and I was super surprised to find out the solution is basically a baby NSAID. So it turns out when they tell you not to take ibuprofen when pregnant, it is not another thing like runny eggs, it’s for real mamas.
His umbilical lines are all okay and his sodium is trending down. They also ultrasound his brain and see no signs of a bleed but he will get a formal scan in a few days.
I did my first NG tube residual check and feed. This check is done before every feed to ensure the tube is in the right place, we use a syringe to pull back a small amount of the stomach contents and test them on a PH color guide.
He did his first poo, the black poo. It’s a good sign his digestive system and bowels are working.
On day 3, they have ordered his blood transfusion for today, it will only be 6ml over 2 hours. It’s an odd concept to be giving him a strangers blood when I’m right here but it’s been tested and cleaned. And since I ruptured I could potentially have a lingering infection.
I’m going home today. I was actually discharged the day after he was born and they managed to give me a room in the next ward for one more night and that’s it. I actually needed medical help that night and they wouldn’t touch me because I wasn’t technically a patient, I was just borrowing a room.
It was all pretty fast and rash. I straight up asked the nurses for mental health services on day one because I was in shock and instead I got a hug and discharged. It is a really harsh system, I bet Jacinda didn’t get the boot after 24 hours.
After being in hospital for so long on bed rest and then getting treated like a number, I did just want to go home.
I was really odd, everyone was coming back to check on me and what happened cause it was all very dramatic and lots of people were involved and then they just kick me out. Like OMG are you okay but also there’s the door, please leave.
Unfortunately that meant going home alone and leaving Kayden behind everyday. I knew it was eventually going to be that way, we are now two seperate patients but I didn’t expect it that fast. Even with Sylvie I got a few days where I could wander into to see her in the wee hours of the morning with expressed milk.
The saddest part was it wasn’t just me, I saw other women having these breakdowns for being booted out shortly after giving labour. It was distressing to see this IS common practice, it still makes me mad.