Missing Sylvie

The Start 5

I seem to have gotten ahead of myself. Did I mention they check my ops (temperature, heartrate and blood pressure) every 3hrs, and antibiotics every 6 hours, including all through the night. 

And that Lee and Sylvie came to visit (and Sister in law Mel and Andy with food). Sylvie was not herself in the hospital. She looked scared of me, she didn’t want to sit on the bed, she didn’t like the IV (neither did I, I couldn’t use that hand) and she didn’t like the nurse touching me.

It was hard to be away from her. I missed giving her little kisses on the back of her neck and playing with her hair. It hurt to have her react in the hospital like that. I know she’s a toddler and it’s a confusing and scary place. I just wanted a Sylvie cuddle for my heart. We didn’t push her, her visits were only 20 minutes with snacks, colouring and Peppa pig videos. Julie, Lee and Mel were great at sending me pictures and videos of her, I watched them over and over.

So back to my room, I got a good roommate. And then she left not long after, so I had my own room overnight.

I haven’t been leaking much since the surgery. I can’t decide if that is a good or bad thing. 

Obviously I want to retain fluid, but there is definitely a hole somewhere so leaking also tells me that fluid is being created. Ideally, I would replenish more than I lose. Absolute ideal and utter magic would be to somehow repair the rupture. Only an ultrasound will tell what’s going on and they will do them every 3 days. 

I can feel baby moving but don’t want him to wiggle too much and push fluid out. I get reassurance once a night when a midwife comes from maternity ward and we listen to the fetal heartrate. He is always in the same spot and around 155 FHR.