Kind of Eating

Dear confession aka blog, its been 3 months since my last post. And I have been stressing daily about Kayden’s weight and food consumption.

I last vented about him playing with food and now he is kind of eating it. He will genuinely consume baby puffs and food of cake like textures. He will occasionally have some puree but only directly from a pouch and I often have to throw them out before they are finished because they have a short shelf life once opened. He seems to be enjoying cream cheese on a spoon, anything not thick on a spoon lands on the floor in milliseconds for Steven our mini schnauzer to clean. Steven is actually an excellent baby food cleaner.

Kayden is showing no clear patterns of taste likes or dislikes but does have texture preferences. He chokes and gags a lot on his food, we are still loosing milk feeds during meal times. Although less milk than a few months ago.

The other day he was all done what was on his tray, he had no food in his mouth and was staring at us forcing himself to choke. His eyes watering making a deep erghhhhhhh sound, like he wanted to vomit and wanted us to see.

We have to keep moving forward though and giving him these chances to explore and learn. It messy and emotionally exhausting, its been nearly a year now since we introduced solid foods and feels like we have progressed at a snails pace. Its so hard to get anything to stick to his bones. Its such a contrast to his sister Sylvie, who eats beautifully. She is the child that takes the hot dog out of the bun and leaves the bun.

Kayden has got a new higher calorie milk prescribed before Christmas and its basically his sole source of nutrition. It contains 1.5 calories per ml, and a slew full of minerals, vitamins and other elements. He is managing to slowly gain weight, we finally got over the 8kg mark last week. He is the average weight of an 8 months old. He is 19 months old and adjusted 15 months.

This is why this stresses me out, his 2nd birthday is in 5 months. It feels like its coming up so soon and I still have a baby.

Theres that expression the to cherish the baby stage it goes so fast. For me, its crawling along. Dont get me wrong I love baby snuggle and he is easy to carry around. But there is this itch in the back of my mind, is he ever going to grow? Is he progressing enough developmentally? Is there still something medically coming for him?

Many pervasive developmental disorders are not diagnosable in infancy. I’m left wondering if his lack of eating is a red flag to something else?

I want a crystal ball to Kayden as a teenager, just a minute sneak peak to know if I’m stressing myself out for no good reason or not.

But anyways I have better news, Im going to make a new post for it!