Rebooked with a Chance of Clouds
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Well, I have been super slack with this blog! I’m going to do a mini catch up now and hopefully a bigger reflection on Mothers day too.
Kayden’s bloods came back all good which is such a relief, it takes off the pressure of trying to give him these supplements that seem harder than good. He is still however a rather spilly baby. He only ever manages to stay perfectly clean for a minute, no seriously a literal minute until the next blep. Its a bit frustrating but there is no point to constantly changing him, he would go through his entire wardrobe in 48 hours. And mine too, I have days where I go through 5 shirts and its mostly the sleeves which I don’t mind at all. The one that does get me though, is when it goes down the front under the neck of shirt and squelching into the bra. If its happened to you, I bet you just cringed with me, ughhhh or was it the word squelching, SQUELCHING.
His bottle aversion has resolved, the credit goes to daycare. As much as I tired and boy did I try everything, I think the biggest bottle he took from me was 60ml but more commonly 20-30ml. I honestly did try it all, different bottles, teats, positions, temperature and list goes on. ‘Oh but did you try…’, yes I tried everything. It must have been very personal because the magicians at daycare have him taking 400-500ml a day as big as 140ml in a feed. He knows I got boobs and that’s it. He is showing no interest in solids, I am persisting and offering but he is simply uninterested. I remember Sylvie would attack me for my food, lunging over me and grabbing. Kayden just watches calmly. It’s been bugging me a bit because he is actually 10 months but also he is 6 months. Hopefully it’ll just turn one day and he’ll be super into food like Sylvie.
I also mucked up his surgery date last month. I was pushing hard for an earlier date because of returning to work and was getting all negative replies. Sorry, we cant, the clinic is fully booked, that doctor is fully booked, it isnt an urgent procedure…etc And then one day Im just chilling and BFing Kayden on the couch and I get a call from an unknown number. She says are you guys still coming, “Um coming to what, who are you?” She says she’s from the Eye Clinic and our appointment was hours ago. Huh? Anyways, Kaydens has to be NIL by mouth so we couldn’t come running and have rescheduled.
I haven’t been thinking about it too much, been busy, started a new job and working on another passion project. Then just like a dark cloud ‘those’ thoughts start to creep on in. Why does my brain goes to these places?
Kayden and I are having a sweet moment by the kitchen mirror and he is smiling at me and his reflection and then the cloud. What if he never sees me again, what if it all goes awry and he losses his vision completely. What if he never knows what his Mum looks like, what if never gets to see me smile at him. A sarcastic great, thanks brain, now I’m stuck with this dark thought until its all finished and he is out of the ops theatre.
So that’s my train of thought until tomorrow afternoon.
